Monday, February 18, 2013

For Sale: Antique Mirror With Angry Ghost

Once in a while, the digital swap meet eBay scores a touchdown on behalf of weird-news seekers by offering something truly strange.

Potato chips that look like presidents are fine, but The Typing Monkey really flips for anything that the seller claims is haunted or cursed. And eBay's UK market really paid off when a seller going by the name "mrjoiee" put a mirror up for sale that is "very possibly haunted."

The asking price was £100 [~$155], which "mrjoiee" got from the single bid that was offered:

For that price, the buyer will get a 56" x 48" mirror that "was originally walnut" but was restored by "mrjoiee's" roommate "with a metallic silver colour, making it appear more modern."

According the the account from the seller, the landlord at their flat had put the mirror out with other trash, the seller and roommate asked if they could have it and, to paraphrase Elvis Presley, that's when their heartache began:

"Many times since putting up the mirror, both myself and my flat mate have woken in the early morning hours screaming in pain. We both experienced what I can only describe as intense sharp stabbing pains throughout out bodies. They would strike us both at the same time, then dissapear as fast as they came. Our original suspicions were that somebody was performing some kind of voodoo or Black magic on us.

"The mood in the flat turned sour. I felt constantly as if there was a sense of impending doom upon us. As if something awful was about to happen. Both of us began to feel zombie like, as if drained of all our energy. Many times over the course of the next few months we were unable to move out of bed, our bodies weak and tired for no apparent reason.

"However, leaving the flat for any short amount of time would make us both feel instantly better. Upon returning to the flat, the zapping of energy feeling would strike again." [Capitalization and grammar intact from original post.]

The story culminates in a flatmate going to the emergency room, and unexplainable scratches on the body of the seller, that coincided with terrible pain and vivid nightmares. And now that mirror, which once hung in the hallway of the building, before its brief, awful tenure in the seller's flat, now goes to a new home.

"Mrjoiee" posted a Q&A for the sale, answering honest inquiries as well as replying to the expected jokes. Here's our favorite:

Q: Hi there mrjoiee! I was just wondering if you had any more details about the nature of the malevolent entity haunting your mirror. I've come across loads that have tormented souls of the dead trapped inside them, but I really need to track down one of the much rarer demonic models. It sounds fussy I know, but I run a vampire hairdressers and the only mirrors capable of showing the reflection of the damned are those that are forged of purest evil. So I was wondering if you could do me a favour and check for a serial number on the back, which will hopefully start 666... But I expect the label has peeled off, so you could do a quick diagnostic test instead? It's really easy, just turn all the lights off, face the mirror and say the word "candyman" three times. If terrifying carnage ensues, consider it sold! Thanks for your help! 

A: Haha you almost had me going there for a minute! 

Oh, internets! How we love you.

For astute readers, this story may sound a little familiar.

[Lights out and three chants of "bloody Mary" to MSN Now]