Wednesday, September 1, 2010

We Are Your Overlords

Bossman S.L. Kreighton insisted we all listen to "Immigrant Song" this morning to, in his words "start the month off right." It is Zeptember, so we obliged him and went back to our filing.

Later, unable to get Robert Plant's Godzilla-esque wail out of our heads, we decided to give the Website Unhearit a try.

"Using the latest techniques in reverse-auditory-melodic-unstickification technology," Unhearit helps alleviate the stress caused by song tumors and earworms -- ostensibly by replacing the offending tune with something equally, maddeningly catchy.

The first result was one of the various Auto-Tune treatments of the Double Rainbow Guy. Had to stop that because rather than ease our troubles, it merely annoyed.

Clicking the "new song" button got us "Shut Up and Let Me Go" by the Ting Tings. That worked really well, except when it was done, and we hit the "new song" button again, it reloaded the same song. And again, the same song.

After refreshing the Webpage, we got a 55-second MIDI-crafted bit of silliness with a playful melody followed by a sampled voice saying "meow." It was hardly catchy and by no means capable of breaking the Hammer of the Gods or stopping two good-looking Brits who make cheerleader pop.

One last click netted the truly dreadful "Conga" by Miami Sound Machine, a band whose string of hits during the 1980s can only be washed out of the brain via self-administered lobotomy or several long pulls from a jug of grain alcohol.

So, mission accomplished, Unhearit. If we get enough "Communication Breakdown" and "Ramble On" in the remaining 29 days of this month, perhaps we'll revisit the site.

(Tip of the wizard cap to Buzzfeed)